The 80th Anniversary of the Atomic Bomb

An atomic bomb victim, Mr. Katsuji Yoshida, left the message above for us before he passed away in 2010. 

I truly appreciate his words that are related to the Buddha’s great compassion. He was a member of my family temple, Kougenji, and a good friend of my father. He was 13 when the atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki on Aug. 9, 1945. He was close to the epicenter and was badly burned on his face and body.  Later, he made great efforts to tell his experience to younger generations. He also came to the United States to convey his experience and wish for peace.  I would like to share his story and let us think about peace together.   

On this place, an atomic bomb was dropped. In the blink of an eye, the buildings and houses were burned away. Lots of people were killed. The surrounding area became a fiery wasteland. I was confused. Suddenly, we were blown away and in a rice field. The skin on seven boys’ faces including mine was burned. The sun beat down fiercely. Our flesh was bare. It hurt a lot. To ease the pain, we stuck leaves on the burns. We went to the river. Many people gathered there to drink water. There were dead bodies all along the riverside. Oil covered the surface of the water. Some people could not wait, and they drank the water. As they drank the water, they fell over and died. “When you get injured, don’t drink water. Hold off as long as you can stand it.” We remembered the teacher saying that to us. We all decided to wait. None of us drank the water.

My mother came to school to pick me up. She was surprised at the strange scene where many injured people were lying all around. It was difficult for her to find me. “Katsuji, Katsuji?” My mother called my name into each single person’s ear. This was how my mother found me and took me home.  

At home, my mother put me on the futon (mattress) under the mosquito net. She laid many newspapers and oil paper on the futon to catch all the pus. I lay on top of that. She tried to nurse me back to health. But a fly entered the room with my mother. It laid eggs in my body. Maggots formed in the wound. My mother noticed them, and she got them out with chopsticks. I cried out in pain because the chopsticks touched my wound.  

I entered a hospital in Omura, a town about 35 kilometers away from Nagasaki city. They tried to transplant skin from my thigh to my face. It failed twice. The third time was successful. After it healed, I took the bandage off my face. I did not try to see my face in the mirror because I knew it would look deformed. I left the hospital in Omura and took the train back to Nagasaki. There were many people on the train, and they avoided me. I felt their uncomfortable eyes on me. I felt embarrassed and fought back tears. I really wanted the train to arrive at Nagasaki station instantly. 

After I got home, I shut myself in my house. I felt hopeless because I didn’t know what to do with my face. I didn’t want anyone to see my face. I didn’t want to go outside. I didn’t want to do anything. My mother told me to cut my hair because my hair had grown a lot since I shut myself in my house. I was only worried about my face and didn’t care about my hair. I worked up my courage and finally decided to cut my hair.

I was still afraid of what would happen when someone saw my face. On the way to the barbershop, nothing happened. But as soon as I sat down in the barber’s chair, the thing I was most afraid of happened. Some visitors came in after me. They looked at my face in the mirror. They looked surprised and scared. At that moment, I was mortified. I was in a hurry to run out of there and went back home. My mother said, “You can’t stay inside forever. Let’s take a walk.” I shut my ears. I really didn’t want to go anywhere. After a few days, I gradually calmed down. I decided to take a walk again. It was still very difficult to go outside. I was stared at coldly by people. I kept telling myself. “I must be brave and endure. Try to endure it.”

I kept trying to go out again and again. When I took a walk, I met people. One time, I passed by women talking on the road. When they noticed me, they fell silent and turned their eyes away from me. I knew that they were speaking about me in a whisper. I didn’t want to turn around. I just kept walking. Another day, I met a neighbor girl. I got up the nerve to talk to her and said “Hello.” Suddenly, she began to cry when she looked at my face. Her reaction made me realize that my face was very scary. It brought back all the feelings that I was trying to get rid of. When many people saw my face, they laughed. I was looked down upon and I was spoken to badly by them. Again, I lost my confidence and stayed home every day. My mother kept encouraging me, “Go out! Go out!” but I didn’t go out. My mother’s attitude was not always the same. She was strict with me one time and kind another time. As she tirelessly took care of me and time passed by, I made up my mind. I have a mission. I will go out. I have to get over these hard times. I don’t want to run away and hide. I will tell people how terrible the war was. I will tell about the terror and pain that I experienced. And I’ll tell them no one else should experience this tragedy.

We hope that peace will continue forever …

We hope there won’t be any more victims again …

We hope Nagasaki will be the last to feel the damage and the pain of the atomic bomb …