Are You Practicing Anticipatory Driving — in Life?

My daughter is now 16 — the age when she’s eligible to get her driver’s license. A few years ago, she used to say, “When I turn 16, I want to drive.” But now that the time has come, she doesn’t seem quite as interested. She hasn’t mentioned going to the DMV, and it still surprises me that she’s already old enough to drive.

If she does get her license and begins driving, I know I’ll worry. That’s only natural—every parent worries when their child first gets behind the wheel. I remember when I got my license more than 30 years ago in Japan, my parents constantly reminded me to “drive safely.” Back then, it felt like they were just nagging me—but now, as a parent myself, I truly understand the love and concern behind their words.

I still remember something from the driver education course I took at the time. An instructor asked us, “What kind of driving is most likely to cause an accident?” Students offered answers like drunk driving, drowsy driving, and distracted driving. But the instructor told us all those answers were wrong.

He said the real answer was assumptive driving—that is, driving based on assumptions about what others will or won’t do. For example: assuming other drivers will yield when you merge, assuming no one will cross the street in a residential area, or assuming that driving a short distance after drinking is no big deal. In each case, it’s not the condition itself that’s dangerous—it’s the overconfidence of thinking, “It’ll probably be fine,” that often leads to serious and irreversible accidents.

Now, decades later, I drive with the confidence that comes from experience. But when I think back to that lesson, I realize I may have become more of an assumptive driver myself. That beginner’s humility I once had has faded. This realization brings about deep self-reflection.

And when we think more broadly about “assumptive driving,” we may notice that it’s not just about how we drive—it’s also about how we live. We all know, at least intellectually, that life is impermanent. Yet most of us live as if tomorrow is guaranteed. We make plans, carry frustrations, and go to bed assuming we’ll wake up in the morning. We often forget to feel gratitude for the day we’ve just lived. We live as if we believe, “I won’t die today,’ or ‘My loved ones will surely be here tomorrow.”

Living like this—believing in tomorrow without acknowledging life’s uncertainty—is no different from assumptive driving. And just as that kind of driving can lead to accidents, this way of living can lead to deep regret. At the end of life, we may find ourselves saying, “It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” simply because we never truly accepted that life could end at any moment.

So, what did our instructor say is the safest way to drive? He called it anticipatory driving—always being aware that something unexpected could happen. For example, slowing down on a narrow road at night because someone might step out between parked cars, or keeping a safe distance from the car ahead because it might stop suddenly. Anticipatory driving means being constantly prepared for the unexpected—not assuming everything will go as we wish.

And just as this is a safer way to drive, it’s also a wiser way to live. If we live with the awareness that life is uncertain—that this day may be our last, or that this conversation may be the final one we have with someone—we begin to live more fully. In that awareness, anger naturally softens, gratitude deepens, and our relationships become more sincere. We start to appreciate being alive in each moment and to cherish all that supports our lives.

This way of living is nurtured by the great compassion of Amida Buddha. Embraced by the light of the Nembutsu, we are reminded that while our lives are fragile and uncertain, we are assured of birth in the Pure Land where we attain enlightenment. The Pure Land is not only our destination—it is also the source of peace of mind that allows us to live fully here and now.

Without that assurance, life can feel fleeting and filled with anxiety. But with it, we can move through life with trust and gratitude, knowing that we are always supported. The Nembutsu—Amida Buddha’s compassionate call, “Rely upon me”—resonates most deeply in our hearts when we live not assumptively, but mindfully and gratefully.

As you go about your daily life—especially when you get behind the wheel—I encourage you to practice “anticipatory driving.” But even more importantly, may we all strive to live each day with an awareness of life’s impermanence, guided by Amida Buddha’s wisdom and boundless compassion.