Searching for Amida

As someone who was not raised Buddhist, I’ve been on a journey to reconcile my preconceived ideas and past experiences with new ways of seeing and interpreting life.


Sometimes this results in a collision inside of my head, and in the worst case scenario, there might be existential gridlock that makes me question whether I am on the right path. Then I have to discern whether or not the collision is a dealbreaker.


Recently, I found myself hung up on Amida Buddha. Again.


Rev. Gyomay Kubose’s book, “The Center Within,” encapsulates the appeal of Buddhism for me. Rev. Kubose wrote that the main purpose of Buddhism is to “find oneself.” He elaborated, “Being human you have negative emotions; but if you are aware, you can always return to basic consciousness.” Your center within.


This idea of finding inner peace is exactly what finally drew me into a more serious practice. I’d been trying to find my center throughout my entire life. It appealed to me that Buddhism could be a tool for my own personal journey, through the good and the bad, teaching me how to make the most out of this one life.